Well technically, my husband cuts my hair most of the time. And I prefer to call us frugal because spending $50 or more on just a trim that nobody notices (which is what I want most of the time), seems outlandish to me. I would rather spend the money on a yummy dinner, a new shirt, buying a garden gnome…anything, really.

And my husband is good at cutting my hair and he’s not a hairdresser by trade. I’ve had hairdressers comment on how well my hair was previously cut and praise his handiwork. He is always full of tricks and hidden talents. He’s been cutting his own hair for years, but how he got so skilled at cutting women’s hair is still a mystery to me. He explains that he grew up living with his mom for many years and spending time with her girlfriends. So, I guess he learned this invaluable trade through osmosis and being in an estrogen-filled house?

But what does it matter anyway now that I have my own personal hairdresser at my beck and call! The first time he offered to cut my hair, I was…reluctant to say the least. “YOU want to cut MY hair?!” So he first had to earn my trust by trimming my bangs a few millimetres. Now he has graduated to deftly layering and shaping my hair at my request. I sit back and relax while a frenzy of skilled snips and cuts transform my dull mop into a stylish-do. And unlike other hairdressers, this one actually listens to what I want (as he knows what’s best for him).

Fancy that…after years of being a hairdresser whore (hopping from one hairdresser to another in pursuit of that perfect one), I never imagined my hairdresser would live under the same roof. And the best part is that his services are free.

Well, actually there is one draw-back to living with your hairdresser. Like every woman, I still want to occasionally have that “salon” experience and feel pampered by luxurious shampoos and conditioners, and be offered complimentary tea, coffee or water. So, every few months I will make an appointment with a “real” hairdresser. And after the appointment, my husband’s typical response is, “Gee, I could have done the exact same thing for free. I don’t understand why you have to go to a hair salon…”

*Sigh*

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Here is an excerpt:

The longest recorded kiss in the world was set a couple of days ago on Valentine’s Day. The smooch clocked in at 46 hours and 24 minutes by a couple in Pattaya, Thailand, in a Kissathon contest in which they won a diamond ring and cash. This couple must really, really like each other to be joined at the lips for over a day, or they are the most competitive people I know…Remember in the movie Pretty Woman when Julia Roberts’ character, a prostitute, says her one rule is that she doesn’t kiss on the mouth. Why? Because the act of kissing invokes romantic feelings and indicates there is something more than just sex.

To read the full post, check out my blog, The Unlocked Life on HealthyPlace.com.

The Constant Status Updater
If you regularly update your Facebook status multiple times a day, it’s time to use Twitter. Nobody cares if you missed the bus, had a bagel for lunch, and are currently watching American Idol. The worst offenders are often parents who document every single burp, hiccup, and nap of their beloved offspring as if it were the most glorious thing. I’m a mother myself and even I don’t want to recount every mundane detail of my baby’s day.

The Lovesick
PDA, or public displays of affection don’t belong here. I have a few FB friends who regularly post messages on their significant other’s wall like, “You are the greatest and most amazing person, and I love you soooooo much!” Or, “Thanks for the nice date last night Hunny-Bunny.” Can’t you tell this to your Hunny-Bunny in person or on the phone, or at least message them privately?

The Braggart
This type of Facebooker brings posturing to a whole new level. They use status updates to broadcast their latest material acquisitions and accomplishments. Common posts include things like, “On my way to the dealership to pick up my new whip.” Or, “Can’t wait to pick up my new big screen TV and couch.” This type of info is totally unnecessary unless you intend to invite us all over to your house to watch TV on your new big screen or parade us around town in your awesome new car.

The Dirty Laundry-Airer
There are some things you should keep to yourself. Then there are people who feel its fair game to air their dirty laundry to hundreds of people. Sordid details of fights with their lover(s) and spats between friends are well documented—their wall reads like a juicy gossip magazine. Well, on second thought, maybe you make Facebook more interesting after all…

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According to Hallmark and several of those bizarre national holiday websites, January 26 is Spouses Day. This is a day meant to honor your significant other and show him or her how much you appreciate them. Some of you are probably thinking, “Isn’t that what Valentine’s Day is for?” Yes and no. While Valentine’s Day might have started off with noble and honorable intentions, it has turned into an over-commercialized holiday where you get a pat on the back for buying your spouse a box of chocolates and a mushy card. Spouses Day is all about doing something (not necessarily spending money) to show your better half you care.

To read the full post, check out my blog, The Unlocked Life on HealthyPlace.com.

Some friends and family are flabbergasted that we haven’t “upgraded” our car. People will think you’re poor, they tell us. While we have the means to drive a nicer car, we just don’t want to. Why? We both believe in living frugally and not throwing things out until they’re broken. The money we would get if we sold the car would be around $1000; but since the car is still in great condition, we figure we could get a few more years out of it which is definitely cost-effective in our books. And besides, anyone who judges us by the car we drive is probably not someone we’d like very much anyway.

But the biggest reason why we don’t buy a nicer car is probably because we don’t value vehicles very much. We both are of the mind that a vehicle is meant to transport you from one place to another safely. Period. Everything else is just a “nice to have.”

My brother is the complete opposite of us (as are many of my guy friends). He looooves cars, and has been known to spend a pretty penny to satisfy his car craving. As someone who knows squat about cars, I often wondered why he loves them so much. From a financial standpoint, all they do is depreciate. So I asked him why he spends his money on cars. His response was simple. He said every time he drives his (nice) car, it makes him happy and puts a smile on his face.

Ahhh…I see – to each their own. I suppose it would be worth the money if a simple act such as driving to the grocery store could put you in high spirits. I guess cars just aren’t for me. If given the choice between having a luxury car that would make onlookers green with envy, or going on an unforgettable trip to some exotic country, I would pick the latter—hands down.

I find there is freedom in driving an old clunker. You can park anywhere without worrying about someone putting a scratch or dent in your car. You don’t worry when you accidentally nick the curb if you take a corner too tightly. You don’t give much thought to waxing it and keeping it shiny as new. And you certainly don’t have to worry about anyone stealing your car, because quite honestly, who would want it?

My parents are friends with a couple who abide by the same vehicle principle as us, expect they on the other hand are actually very wealthy. They could definitely afford to drive a luxury car AND live a privileged life, except they just don’t value cars. They drive a beat-up old Civic and spend their money on travelling.

And oh the life they live! Every year they send my parents a Christmas card detailing their exciting year. They’ve done everything from climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, back-packing through the Middle East, to partying in the sexiest European locales. That is how I want to live my life.

When I’m an old lady lounging in a rocking chair, I want to look back at my life with fond memories and no regrets. I want to tell my grandkids about the time I climbed a mountain in Thailand when I was 3 months pregnant and spent some time with their hillside locals. I want to remember the exhilaration (and the fear) I felt when sky-diving in Hawaii on my honeymoon. I want to tell them about my solo trip to Europe after University.

Before I decide to purchase any big items, I ask myself, “Will this matter much to me when I’m 80 years old, or is this money better spent on making a memorable trip?” Aside from a few splurges here and there (because everyone deserves to treat themselves once in awhile), I often opt for saving my money for a great trip. Because I would much rather spend my hard-earned money on carving out memories instead of carving donuts in a parking lot with my fancy car.

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Enter the date night – a few hours where you get a chance to reconnect and enjoy each other’s company again. In my post on HealthyPlace.com, The Relationship Rejuvenator: Date Night, I talk about the importance of dating, and how it helps to keep the romance alive. Here is an excerpt:

When I was pregnant with my first baby, my doctor told me that she didn’t go watch a movie with her husband for two years after their first child. I thought this was absurd…until I experienced first-hand the late-night feedings, round-the-clock diaper changing, and all-around exhaustion that comes with being a new parent. Your little bundle of joy demands so much attention and care that it’s easy to neglect other areas of your life, namely your relationship with your partner.

To read the full post, check out my blog, The Unlocked Life on HealthyPlace.com.

The point of all of these social networking sites is to keep you connected to your friends and family. But I admit, there are some “real life” friends I have on Facebook who I’ve unsubscribed to their status updates because, frankly I was getting tired of hearing about their incessant ramblings about how wonderful their baby was for taking a long nap, or how “awesome” their Costa Rica trip was, or their random thoughts on the weather.

Am I a jerk? Maybe. But I really don’t want to stay that connected to people (well certain people, anyway). Nowadays, you don’t really need to wonder what that certain person in your life is up to – you can just check out their profiles and follow their tweets.

Oh, I admit to occasionally “creeping” on those acquaintances you knew in high school to check out how amazing or lackluster their lives have become. And yes, sometimes it’s fun to post goofy pictures of your dog/baby/pet monster for all to see. But I find myself getting tired of the façade that most people put on their cyber personas. I find myself retreating from this world of “friends” and craving some kind of real connection to people, and yes, some mystery.

A little bit of mystery is sexy. That’s why they invented lingerie – so you can leave something to the imagination instead of letting it all hang out for the world to see. The way that some people are sharing their most intimate details online is like accidentally barging into a bathroom of an acquaintance and finding her with a lipful of moustache bleach, sitting on the can reading an Archie comic. Very awkward and unsettling…

Don’t get me wrong – social networking sites are great for staying in touch with people who live far away, and even for those who are just too busy to keep in touch with their close friends through good old-fashioned phone calls. But please leave a little bit to the imagination so that I will actually want to see what you’re up to.

Unfortunately grown-up stuff like jobs, spouses and kids all take precedent over our friendships with people who once knew our daily schedule intimately. In high school we took for granted all the time we spent with friends – at school, after school, on the weekends. Heck, we even had time to write each other notes everyday on top of it all. It all seemed so easy. Now planning a simple coffee date involves three voicemails and several text messages to organize a one hour rendezvous two weeks from now.

Good times back in the day.

But now the rare times you actually get together with friends seems more special — you all know that you may not see each other for a few months so you know you better make this visit good. Being busy also forces you to prioritize your social calendar. So-so friends often fall to the wayside for dates with your nearest and dearest.

Re-connecting and staying in touch with friends is a lot easier if everyone is cell-phone friendly. I for one am one of those jerks that always miss calls. Try as I may to have my phone glued to my hand to answer phone calls, the phone always seems to ring right when I’m in the bathroom, or have my hands deep in a poopy diaper. (I firmly believe other people just have impeccably poor timing.)

But the least I can do to keep my friendships alive is to set aside a couple hours of my time once a week to re-connect. I promise to pick up the phone if I’m not on the can, or changing a diaper.

So Sunday evenings after dinner call me if you’re free. I’ll be waiting.

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I offered her some food (nom-noms), a bottle (ba-ba) and she forcefully pushed each out of her way. It was much too early for bedtime, and she just had her diaper changed.

Ayla in one of her GOOD moods. These days, she can't get enough of Kacie the dog which means sometimes eating on the floor.

“What do you want?!” I asked in frustration. This only made her cry more. She even slapped my face a few times which fueled my anger. I sighed heavily and was thankful when she finally drifted off to sleep for the night. Sometimes it sucks being a mom, I thought to myself.

The next day on my morning commute, I was checking FaceBook (which I hadn’t done in ages), and found out that a mother I met from a mommy group was going through every parent’s nightmare— her daughter, about the same age as mine, was diagnosed with a brain tumor.

I couldn’t even begin to imagine how she was feeling. Although I’ve only met them informally a few times with other mommies, I remember the little girl’s big blue eyes, so full of curiosity and life. The mother posted that her little girl was recovering after two successful surgeries (one which was eight hours long), but still of course faced a long, uphill battle to recovery.

Just trying to put myself in her shoes made my heart hurt. It also made me realize how we take so many important things for granted, yet we get wrapped up in trivial matters. Who cares if we have a clean house, a nice car, or a good job if the people who we love most aren’t here, or well enough to enjoy it all with us?

I know that this jolt of reality and clarity will be temporary; sooner or later I know that I will get immersed in my own little bubble of worries like anyone else. But I thought it would be a good idea to make a list of some of the things I am thankful for to remind myself the next time I feel frustrated with life.

• A husband who understands me, makes me laugh, and had the foresight to change careers so that he could work from home and be with his family.
• My healthy baby girl (who really isn’t a baby anymore). She is affectionate, goofy, sensitive, stubborn, and has Attitude with a capital A – and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
• A little baby growing inside who is on the way and gives me lots of kicks.
• A cozy home that’s just big enough.
• A few good friends who will tell me if my outfit makes me look like a whale.
• Two nice sets of in-laws (my husband’s parents are divorced) who I actually LIKE (I hear so many horror stories about mother-in-laws from hell from friends).
• Sushi.
• The means to travel to new places once in awhile, experience new things, and eat yummy food.
• My coffee press.
• My old-school Casio calculator-watch that I wear with pride. I always wanted one of these when I was a kid, and I finally got one from my husband as a wedding gift.
• I can’t forget my own mom and dad who are there when I need them, quirks and all.
• My paternal grandma who I call Mama who showers us with homemade goodies and knitted clothing.
• Music. We always have some kind of music playing at home; it cracks me up every time my daughter tries dancing and bopping to the tunes.

What are some of the things you are grateful for? Make a list and read it to yourself when you have one of those woe-is-me days.

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In my post on HealthyPlace.com, Keeping Friendships Alive, I talk about the health benefits of strong friendships and tips on staying connected and meeting new friends.

Here is an excerpt:

As a kid, a friend was that special someone who shared her lunch with you, passed you top-secret notes and played with you at recess. In high school, a friend was that shoulder to cry on, to share laughs, and to get into trouble with. As adults, friends are those people that we play phone tag with and see a few times a year. The sad thing about adults is that we become so consumed with our own lives that friendships often get neglected and become a mere afterthought only once we have finished with our work and family obligations.

To read the full post, check out my blog, The Unlocked Life on HealthyPlace.com.