I Don’t Want a Husband—I Want a Boyfriend for Life

There’s something about the words husband and wife that conjures up images of flannel pajamas, frumpy hair, and sexless nights. I know there are many happily married couples out there, but when someone becomes a husband or wife, I think we start getting a little too comfortable with our spouse.

It’s like the words themselves start affecting our behaviours. For instance, my husband and I have always prided ourselves on openness and honesty in our relationship. But the other day when Josh went to use the toilet, he found that I had forgotten to flush…and it was not a pretty sight.

“Arghh…sick!!!” he exclaimed.

We both had a pretty good laugh about it as I apologized—I must have done the “half-arsed lever push.” Don’t get me wrong. I love that we are comfortable with each other and that we accept each other—farts and all. But I remember thinking that if the same thing had happened when we had just started dating, I would have been horrified.

Somewhere along the way, it became okay to expose our mundane, everyday habits to each other such as plucking eyebrows and bleaching mustaches. But is it really okay? Aren’t some things best kept a mystery?

Although I am happily married, I often call my husband my “boyfriend.” To me, being a boyfriend is a frame of mind.

A bad habit some married couples have is they stop trying. You see each other in sweat pants at home, but when was the last time you both dressed up and went on a real date? You stop trying as hard because you’ve got that ring on your finger which for some is the equivalent of a permission slip to let yourself go.

But perhaps one of the most important ways that a boyfriend trumps a husband is that the boyfriend is in the wooing stage and knows that if he doesn’t play his cards right, his girl will look for someone better. It’s that continual effort a boyfriend (a good one, anyway) puts forward to keep his girlfriend interested that is the missing ingredient in many marriages.

Judging by the high divorce rates today, it’s evident that husbands and wives are not doing something right. While I’m no relationship expert, there are a few things we all can do to make that little extra effort.

A good boyfriend:

• Cares about his appearance and still tries to look sexy once in awhile.
• Tries to make conversation over dinner instead of burying his nose in the newspaper.
• Surprises his girlfriend with gifts for no reason.
• Plans a “real” date instead of just pizza and a movie on TV.
• Says please and thank you.
• Says I love you and you look beautiful.
• Doesn’t take his girlfriend for granted.

So ladies, if you want your spouse to be a good “boyfriend” then make sure you’re being a good “girlfriend.” I guess for me that starts with hiding the mustache bleach when he’s around, and flushing the toilet properly.

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