Taking a Vacation without Baby

Earlier this week I waved bye-bye to my 11 month old daughter as she sat in Grammy’s car and for the first time, she waved back. This little moment made me want to cry as I stared into her big, confused eyes. But I did not cry as the jeep pulled away and Ayla peered out from behind the tinted window. “Get a grip,” I told myself. “It’s only for a week.”

My husband and I decided to go to San Francisco to celebrate our anniversary. It’s the first time we’ve ever left Ayla for more than a few hours. At first we thought we would take her with us, but after a few late nights one week, and a few sleepless nights as a result of a change in her schedule, we thought it would be best for all of us to leave Ayla with my mother-in-law.

We wouldn’t have decided to go alone if my mother-in-law, or Momsors as I call her sometimes, hadn’t jumped at the opportunity to spend time with Ayla for a few days. So it was set. We would go on a vacation without baby.

Some might think it’s selfish of us to leave our baby with someone else while we go have *gasp* fun. My own mom wasn’t too crazy about the idea as she’s from the camp that believes you shouldn’t leave your child behind until they are much much older. But I disagree. I think it’s healthy to have a little bit of separation from your child once in a while and focus on yourself and the relationship with your husband.

I think that one of the mistakes parents make is in making their child the centre of their universe. Don’t get me wrong—I love my daughter to pieces and have a great time with her, but parents get so wrapped up in being parents that they lose a part of themselves.

There’s a popular website called My Parents Were Awesome. Kids post some touching, funny, sweet pictures of their folks in all their pre-kid, or in some cases, young-with-kids glory. But the key word to focus on is were, as in, they are no longer awesome. Before most people had kids, they had interesting hobbies and did wild and crazy things. As a parent, I refuse to believe that we have to sacrifice every part of our pre-kid life in order to be good parents.

I definitely plan on taking Ayla on vacation with us sometimes, but other times I might not. Maybe if I take some time to focus on developing myself, my kid someday might consider me sort of awesome. Aww…who am I kidding? Every kid thinks their parents are kind of lame.

I have all the normal motherly anxieties such as: I hope she adjusts okay and behaves for Grammy, and she better not take her first steps while we’re gone gosh-darnit. But as my husband and I walked into the house after saying good-bye, it felt strangely quiet and odd not having to rush around and take care of a little one. Actually it felt great!!!

That feeling lasted only about half an hour when I started to miss her. How lame of me.