My Biological Baby Doesn’t Look Like Me

Last week I took Ayla to one of those sing-along/nursery rhyme groups for babies. It happened to take place at a senior’s residence and moms, babies, and seniors all had a good time together. After the session, a kind old lady came up to me and said, “Now who does this little sweetheart belong to?”

“Oh…she’s mine,” I replied.

“Oh…”

For the record, I am Asian and my husband is Caucasian. Of course having a mixed race child, I did not expect my baby to look exactly like me—I just never expected her to look so different than me. With her English-rose complexion, light brown hair, big light brown eyes, and cheeks the size of Texas; Ayla is a bit of an anomaly, even amongst other half Asian/Caucasian babies who tend to have darker features.

My baby at 4.5 months old.

Everybody tells me she looks like her Daddy, which is plain to see. Her looks are still changing, so perhaps in a few years, she might be a spitting image of me. But for now, people seem to think that I am just the nanny.

When I go out with Ayla, people often do double-takes: they look at me-then Ayla-then me again. “What an adorable baby,” they think. “Who’s that Asian lady with her? She must be her nanny.”

I guess it’s just a bit of motherly pride as I want people to make the connection when they see us together. I want to show off my beautiful baby girl. I want to tell strangers that I carried her in my womb for nine months and have the varicose veins to prove it. But I don’t.

Instead I casually mention in the conversation that my husband is Caucasian and hope that they make the connection. I don’t know, maybe it’s silly of me.

While mixed race marriages are on the rise, I guess it still takes time for people to get used to seeing families where the kids don’t exactly look like the parents. My story isn’t unique—there are tons of mixed race children out there with mamas who probably feel the same way I do.

There are a few rare cases in which biological twins from a mixed race couple are born and one is black and the other is white. Now that is a tougher one to explain.

All babies are beautiful—black, white, yellow, purple or beige. As the comedian Russell Peters says, “Everybody’s going to be beige, the whole world is mixing.”

Other Posts You Might Like:
Being 1/2 of an Interracial Couple
My Big Fat Interracial Wedding
Growing Up with Immigrant Parents